They don't make 'em like Murder on the Orient Express any more, but when they do, by chance, make 'em, they should cut 'em into tiny pieces, place 'em in a hole, and set 'em on fire, possibly with a sign warning everyone not to sift through the ashes. Yet sifting through the ashes of a dead genre is what Kenneth Branagh is doing in directing this (sort of) all-star mystery, which was already a bit creaky and wheezy when it was directed for the big screen by Sidney Lumet in 1974, in a production that won Ingrid Bergman her third Oscar ...
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